The Most Fabulous of Them All
by NarciansFangirl9000
Summary: A story of Narcian' pitiful, sexy existence. (Knowledge of Weeaboo Language is needed to fully appreciate this amazingly fabulous story.)
1. Chapter 1: In Search of A Lovely Maiden

Chapter 1: In Search of a Lovely Maiden

It was a glamorous morning when Narcian awoke from his hot af dreams.

There he was in this dream, sitting on a purple throne with a glittery crown atop his perfectly sexy hair. Surrounding him were kawaii lolis wearing short skirts. But what he mostly focused on was his kawaii loli waifu, Clarine, donning a maid outfit entering the room. "Oh my lord, I'm so sorry for running away after you kidnapped~ I shall atone for my sins by being your sugoi meido~!" Narcian was in awe at how short the dress was and how it showed off the girl's leggy legs that all he could respond with was an exaggerated sekushii laugh. "Ohohoho~!" He reflected on this hot dream for about 10 minutes before he realised he looked like a really sexy mess.

"Oh gods, my hair is extremely disheveled in the most hottest of ways!" Once he finished fangirling over how sexy he looked in his giant golden mirror, he thought back to the dream. "Why is it that I, Narcian the Fab General, have not aqquired a single lover?" So, he dressed up in his fancy armour and his sexy af boots (seriously, his boots are hot as hell). He proceeded out the door of his personal quarters which he named the "Sexy Zone" and went out into the neighboring town to look for a cute young maiden. He searched from every dark ally way, watching the citizens go about their daily lives, scanning the crowd for cute girls. Sadly, none of them seemed to be what he wanted.

But then he saw her. Her caramel colored hair shined in the morning sunlight, her hazel eyes glistening with happiness, her fair complexion almost like snow, her short skirt that looked foreign to any clothing he'd seen... She was perfect. And she was walking right towards him!

"Sup, suspicious man lurking in the shadows, where the frick am I?" Narcian was intrigued by the young girl's disrespectful and vulgar way of speaking. He decided to forgive the maiden, as she had a very leggy legs. "My dear, you are in Bern. I am Narcian, the most fabulous Dragon General! So basically a very important person," his smirk as he spoke looked almost similar to that of a predator, "might you tell me your name?" The girl looked at him like he was some creepy weirdo (which he is). "I don't always tell strangers I meet in dark alley ways my name, but when I do, it's to fabulous strangers. My name's Audrey, basically the best fangirl ever~!"

She posed triumphantly at her declaration of importance, but was met with a lack-luster response from lord fabulou- I mean Narcian. "Hoe dont you dare, I'm the best fangirl! I fangirl over my self every time I pass my sexy reflection!" She giggled. "Oh yeah~? Well I.. Uh... actually I can't beat that, you win.." Narcian had won yet another frivolous argument in his lifetime, this one being probably his best yet (what a petty loser). Quickly he thought to himself a great plan. "So, are you lost?" The girl looked behind her. "Yee, actually, I was running from some creepy weirdos chasing my ass and ended up here."

"Ohoho, I see... Well... You must not have any where to go, do you? How about you come along with me...?" The creepy, hungry look on his face made Audrey squirm. "Uh actually nah I think I'd rather risk living in a dark dirty alley way than going with you." But Narcian was set on taking this loli for himself. Audrey watched as he came closer. "Hoe don't do it" Narcian picked up the lightweight girl with ease and little to no resistence. "Oh my god."

Chapter 1: End.


	2. Chapter 2: Me and My Tsundere Waifu

Chapter 2: Me and my new Waifu~

It was evening when the two returned to the castle or what ever the f Narcian lived in. When He opened the front door the guards greeted him, but once they saw he was carrying some underage girl they quickly became angry.

"Goddamit, that retards done it again."

"No Joe, don't say that so loudly! He's gonna cut off your other big toe if you keep dis-respecting him!" Bob's prediction was correct. "Hey sluts, you suck at taking behind my back!" And just like that, Narcian stabbed into the petty guard's boot.

"Goddamit Joe, I told you!"

As Narcian made his way to the parlor he was greeted by his useless attendant Flaer. "Hello my fabulously sexy general, welcome back~"

"Dammit Flaer stop sucking ass, I already told you I don't swing that way."

"But my gener-"

"Stfu I gotta go hang with my loli"

Because of Narcian's extreme fabulousness, Flaer had grown to love the petty bastard. Each day, he watched his lovely general. How his sexy hips moved with each movement, his extremely attractive long legs, those sexy af boots he always wore.. He wanted so badly to jump on that ass. But too bad for Flaer, he's an ugly dirty old man and not a loli with leggy legs.

"Well, now that that's over, it's time to get to know my future bride~!"

"I'm not marrying your old ass, I only liek da shotas" Audrey clearly was not into how Narcian was at least 10 years older than her.

"But I'm so fabulous!"

"Yeah but Hell no! It's not like I like you or anything, Baka!"

That's when he realised. "Are... Are you a tsundere loli?" She blushed like a cliche anime girl, "e-eeeeh!? Hell no, you creepy bastard! I knew I shouldn't consult suspicious strangers in dark alley ways for help..."

"God stop being so fricking tsundere"

"Pffft nah hoe, make me"

And so Narcian picked her up and threw her in the loli dungeon just down the hall. "I'll let you come out when you learn to respect senpai~" he said, crying like a little bitch. (Wow this hoe sucks at pickin' up chicks like wtf he needs to be in jail)

Chapter 2: End

The Author: Dear sluts, pls give me suggestions on what to write about in the next chapter while I go play videah gams


	3. Chapter 3: The Finale

Chapter 3: Sad Stuff

"Not like this..."

It had already been 5 minutes since Audrey was thrown into the loli dungeon. She could bare the boringness no longer.

"Ey! Sekushii boots dude! Come down here I want out!"

Narcian heard her plea and swerved his hips as he walked down into the basement. "Have you decided to play nice and act like the good little kitten you are~?" "Uuh, sure dude."

Narcian, ecstatic decided to unlock the cell and let here out when all of a sudden a bright light blinded him. "W-what... What is going on!?"

And that's when new saw it. The girl had transformed into an even more revealing outfit (by the standards of the FE universe lol) with tall boots and a lance. "Free the seas for my ships must sail!" She exclaimed, readying her ultimate attack! "WHAT the hell does that even mean!? That phrase doesn't even work in this context!"

"Shhh... just let it happen" was the last think he heard before he passed out.

"Whew, what a difficult battle! It sure sucks it took that long for my power to appear, I could've kicked his ass in public. Lol I must go now~ my people need me!" And so, the young magical girl went off into another dimension never to be seen again (until the 3rd sequel that is) where she would sit at her computer desk talking to her really cool friends (they're really cool) online.

When Narcian woke up, Flaer was attending to his wounds. "My general, I'm so glad your awake!" He stared into Narcian's sexy bastard eyes...

"Oh Flaer..."

"Narcian...!"

"Flaer.."

"Narcian..!"

"...Yaranaika.."

"Uho!"

Narcian had no clue what yaranaika meant, he just heard it while he was in the park once and thought it meant fuck off. With one swift kick, Narcian's leg went up into the air kicking stupid, ugly, useless Flaer off his vulnerable body. "What do you think your doing, touching me without permission! You need a punishment..."

"Oh please yes!"

So, Narcian kicked Flaer's old ass into to the nasty sub-dungeon where he kept the not pretty-loli-girls. And with that, he stormed upstairs.

"Ugh, disgusting sub-human"

The day ended and Narcian went back to his bed chambers to fap to gay porn while crying.

THE END


End file.
